[an explanation]

Small talk exhausts me.
Scripted conversation in general does.
"How are you?"
Think about how naturally your answer flows, whatever it may be.
"Fine."
"I'm so good."
"Good."
"Well, thanks. And you?"
Most times, I think we answer without thinking. We stick to the script, and if we deviate from it, both the speaker and the listener are caught off guard.

Some expect a real answer when they ask how someone is doing.
Most don't.

East Side Gallery, Berlin Wall. Photo: KB

I just spent the last two months in Germany, where small talk was a luxury I couldn't afford. I can't speak German, so when I found another English speaker--when I had the chance to have a conversation at all--I jumped right to what was meaningful. Yes, there was always a bit of room saved for pleasantries, to start off....but then it was on to the good stuff.

We would discuss the differences between our countries, what it meant to be German, Russian, or American.
We would question the views and opinions of the other, debating the validity of the other's view.
We talked about the dreams we had for ourselves and our families.
We talked about what life was like with our families.

We talked, always, about something more than the weather or the score of the last football game.

Since returning to the US, I feel myself learning my lines again.

"Oh my gosh! How was Germany?!"
"It was so good."
"It was incredible."
"I learned so much, about myself and the world, silly as that sounds!"

I always answer with a smile. They do, too. We smile, maybe we hug for good measure, and that's it. Germany was good. Two months of living abroad can be summed up in one simple, tired word.

It saddens me.

[small talk] is my attempt to ask real questions to real people.
"Good" will no longer be an acceptable answer.