[need a hero]

"What is the biggest lie you've ever been told?"

"I think the biggest lie that I've ever been told is that I can be my own hero. This world tells us that we can be our own hero, and we can do anything if we set our minds to it--and I believe we can set our minds to a lot of things and do great things, but I fall short, and I'm not perfect, although I try so hard to be. I am not capable of saving myself. I'm a Christian. Once I accepted Jesus into my life, my life changed, because my life was no longer about me. Before, I was believing the lies of this world that my life was about me--what makes me happy, what makes me content, what do I want to do with my life, what do I want to accomplish, where do I want to go in life--but once I accepted Jesus into my heart, there was a total plot twist. Now, instead of ruling my own life, he was ruling my life, and that changed a lot of things. Now I know that the purpose of my life is to serve him. Everything I do, my underlying purpose, is to glorify him. My friends come and go--humans aren't consistent. My passions come and go, even my family can come and go. Everything in my life changes, or can change in an instant. The only thing that has stayed constant is my relationship with the Lord.
The biggest lie that I've ever been told is that I am enough on my own."

Respectfully, I disagree. I think we all have the potential to be our own heroes, to "save" ourselves.

But we also don't have to.

The arms of your friends, your family, your professors, your influencers, your motivators, your encouragers, your saviors are extended, ready to catch you.

You just have to be willing to let go.

Ask for help.
Seek support.
Embrace vulnerability.

You don't have to save the day.

[easy mac]

"How do you want to be remembered, or for what do you want to be remembered?"

"I think I want people's first impression of me to be my smile. But I don't want them to necessarily remember my smile for just my smile, but rather the joy behind it, the reasons behind why I'm happy, or excited, or in a good mood. I don't want them to just think, 'Hey, that's the girl that's always happy.' I want them to ask themselves why I am so happy, what joys have happened to make me this happy. I'm going through a 'quarter life crisis' right now--I'm changing my major, I just don't know to what--but it's good that I can still find reasons to smile, even through it all. I just focus on making the small things the big things."

"What are some of the 'small things' that are meaningful to you?"

"My Easy Mac right now! It's triple cheese instead of normal--that's something to smile about! And I got the last chocolate chip cookie today--the rest were oatmeal, that was also really exciting."

The future is far too heavy a burden for our thoughts. Too many mornings we embrace the day not as an opportunity, but as an obstacle, separating us from a reunion with our beds.

We don't celebrate the day--we get through the day. And in the process, we all but lose the gifts to be found and cherished within the present moment. We expect the sun to rise, the leaves to change, the people in our lives to be consistent. We anticipate that we will have food to eat, water to drink, and breath to propel us into the next moment.

Expectation, anticipation rob us of appreciation. Gifts are nothing without gratitude.

Treasure the mini moments, the causes of joy that, without warning, slip like sand through the fingers of the unsuspecting individual. Seek to celebrate the moments that make you smile, if only for a little while.

[insomnia]

"What keeps you up at night?"

"My anxieties, wondering if I'm doing the right thing. My worst nightmares and my insecurities tend to keep me up at night."

"What is your worst nightmare?"

"All of my fears coming to a head. Especially with the future and not knowing--it kind of keeps me up at night. If I don't get into grad school, if I don't make my parents happy, if I don't make others happy...that's kind of what keeps me up at night. And I always go back through my day and overanalyze every situation you can think of. 'I should have done this thing!' or 'I should have said that instead of that,' just not being the perfect me that I can be. But I'm still learning who that perfect person is, and it's not perfect. It's the ideals that I've set for myself, and if I don't hit those...that's my worst nightmare.

"What gets you up in the morning?"

"The thought of a new try, and a new start to forget what happened the day before, although sometimes it's really hard. And a good cup of coffee. And knowing that I get to sleep at the end of the day, that it's not farewell to my bed!"

Isn't it scary when the monsters we thought were just under our beds appear to have infiltrated our minds, robbing us of sleep and stealing our joy?

Suddenly, The Boogieman doesn't seem that bad. At least there's a tangible enemy to be had, a tangible enemy that could be defeated, given the right circumstances.

But when the monsters come from within, grown from seeds of doubt carefully cultivated through years of self-judgment...then it really gets scary.

These monsters keep you up.
They keep you questioning every decision, every choice, every dream--every capability--you possess.
And, worst of all: they won't go away when you turn on the light.

[a separate peace]

"What is the one thing that would make your life complete?"

"Hmmm. One thing...oh, gosh. I guess...I would say having a peace of mind. I feel like I'm always so uptight, that I don't really enjoy anything because I'm always worrying about the next thing I have to do. I guess it would just make me smell the roses every now and then and enjoy life, because I'm not going to be twenty years old forever. I'm scared I'm going to get to be fifty and I'll think that I wasted my younger years."

"What does your 'peace' look like?"

"Being confident in my abilities, being content with the situations at hand, no matter how bad they might be, and just finding the good things in every situation, instead of focusing on negative."

"What is preventing you from finding that peace?"

"Being scared of failure. That's my biggest fear. Failing at something."

I could tell she meant what she said. Her request, her yearning was not some frivolous answer born of  convenience or ignorance--rather, it was thoughtfully crafted to hold the weight and reverence her deepest desires demanded.

But she isn't unique.

How many other people are holding themselves back from pursuing what would make their lives complete? How many fear failure so fiercely that they allow those fears to control their actions, their thoughts?

What are we missing when we live out our fears, instead of our dreams?

Perhaps fear is easier. By resigning ourselves to a life of fear, we chose a predictable course of action that keeps our worlds consistent, familiar. By resigning ourselves to a life of fear, we become satisfied with mediocrity, and "settling" is accepted as the standard.

But what of dreams? What of embarking on a journey envisioned by many, but sought by very few? By living our dreams, our comfort zones become a thing of the past. The unknown is welcomed warmly for the opportunities it may bring, instead of feared for its uncertainty.

What's stopping you from finding your peace, from living your dream?
Is the certainty worth the sacrifice of the life you've imagined?