[talking to myself]

When the weight of the world becomes too much and talking becomes exhausting, I retreat to the highest point I can in my general vicinity.

I let the wind steal my breath.

From the top, the world seems manageable. Funny, even. Watching the rat race from above, I'm able to cast aside my responsibilities and revel in the fleeting freedom.

The last parking spot at the top of the stadium parking garage offers one simple suggestion to those that seek its wisdom: Be Ready.

But...for what?

The concrete walls tell no tales.

And so, I'm left to wonder:
Am I ready?
What should I be ready for?
How can I be ready?

The street lights flicker on as the sun begins to dip behind the horizon.

Is anyone ready to realize that being an adult feels like being a scared kid with bigger problems?
Is anyone ready to realize that they don't quite recognize their own reflection in the mirror?
Is anyone ready to continually question themselves, their direction, their intentions?

Is anyone ever really, truly ready?

Is anyone prepared for friends to become strangers, or for enemies to become valued acquaintances?
Is anyone ready for their parents to become their friends, and for their friends to become their family?
Is anyone really ready for "home" to no longer feel like it used to?

Again, I ask: Is anyone ever really, truly ready?

I don't think so. I don't think anyone is ever really, truly ready, regardless of what we may tell ourselves.
But that's okay.

We're all in the same boat.

We're all a little lost.
We're all a little crazy, all a little scared, all a little giddy.

Come what may, be ready to embrace the uncertainty, the complexity, and the change within yourself and within others. It's the only way to make it through the day.

The parking lot begs you, the feeble freedom felt at the top implores you: be ready.

[be you]

"If you had to give one piece of advice to a large group of people, what would it be?" I asked.

"What age group?"

I paused. "Good question. I'll let you decide that."

"I've always said if I ever had the opportunity to talk to people that were going in to high school, I would tell them to be yourself, and do not pretend to be someone that you're not. It makes life so much easier. Especially for me, it took me until senior year to realize that people don't like who I'm not, they like who I am. When I finally I got college, I was like, 'This is what it's supposed to be like.' So whenever I do talk to people going into high school, I tell them that. I'm like 'PLEASE be yourself,' and they're like 'What?' and I'm like 'I'm serious, this is my real advice! You have to be yourself.' It's just too much to try to be someone else."

"Who were you pretending to be?"

"I just pretended like I was happy no matter what. If someone made fun of me, I said it was no big deal, but really it hurt. And so I would just try to act like I knew what people were talking about, and tried to fit in. I tried to be the sarcastic, hilarious person that everyone thinks is funny so they want to keep them around, but I really just didn't fit in with any of those people."

"Who are you really?"

"I am...that's a really good question. I am extremely outgoing, I love meeting people, talking to anyone that I can...it's to the point now, and I just love this, that when I'm walking around on campus people don't like to walk with me because I know so many people. They feel like losers! I'm like, 'Well, I'm sorry!' My friend looked at me yesterday and goes, 'I'm just the appendage.' I was like, 'What?!' That's the best thing I've ever heard!"

[say she's a dreamer]

"What do your dreams mean to you?"

"What do my dreams mean to me? Well...you don't know what they mean to you until you know what they are. But when I think of my dreams, I guess I think of...just knowing that there are people that have been so many places and have done so many things, and here we are. Do you remember that one part in 'The Fault in Our Stars', when Augustus is just so afraid of oblivion, and being forgotten?"

I shook my head.

"Oh, ok. Well anyway, I heard this quote one time, and it was basically saying you die twice, once when you pass away, and then when your name is spoken for the last time. That just really struck with me. It's so true. We are all so afraid of being forgotten, and I feel like dreams expand ourselves. I feel like having a dream is something that sets you apart, even if it's someone else's dream. Just that you have that ability and opportunity to dream, it's such a freedom. I'm so thankful that I can dream, and that I can share those dreams with people. It's so universal and personal at the same time."

When we are young, we are taught to believe in the power and the beauty of our dreams.

For the young, it's not a question of "if" their dreams come true.
It's a matter of "when."

But when the young become the old, the paradigm seems to shift.

When did we stop believing that we could walk on the moon, become a princess, be the best teacher ever, or find the cure for cancer?
When did we decide that "dream" was synonymous with "fantasy"?
When did becoming mediocre become okay?

Perhaps becoming a princess isn't feasible for most, and perhaps becoming president may be more difficult than your four-year old self thought, but...please. You owe it to yourself to have a dream, to share that dream with the world, and to work toward making that dream a reality.

Don't let your dreams be just fantasies.
They mean so much more than that.

[choose happiness]

"Why do you chose happiness?"

"I feel like life is only worth living if you are as happy as possible. Anger doesn't bring anything to you, but if you are happy, you bring a lot to other people. So, why put other people down if you can lift people up? So I feel like I'm always happy more because it gives to others more than it gives to me."

"What was your happiest moment?"

"I work with down syndrome kids. I started a teen night program in Oklahoma City, so whenever we were getting ready for it, we were blaring Hannah Montana at the check in table before the kids got there. The first kid that walked in started dancing like a maniac, and was just so, so happy. I literally almost started crying, and it hadn't even started yet. To see there happiness multiples mine by a hundred." 

It's easy, sometimes, to forget to be happy. To let happiness become a byproduct of circumstance, instead of a daily choice. 

But then we are confronted by the smiles of those that have reason to frown, to be angry, to turn their faces up to the sky and ask, "Why me?" 

And then, we remember. 

Is it worth it to be angry? Is it worth our energy, or our precious time, to be bitter, sad, upset, or otherwise unhappy? 

No. Not for an extended amount of time, anyway. 

Our feelings are important, our feelings are valid, whatever they may be--but at the end of day, what matters most? What is really worth your pain, your sorrow, your tears, your sleepless nights? 

Choose wisely. 

Does your anger serve the world? 

Does your bitterness serve the world? 

Does it serve you? 

Let it go. Free yourself of your commitment to pain. Seek to see the good. Choose happiness.